Reciprocity

Overview

The rule of reciprocity — if someone gives you something, you owe them something back — recurs across virtually every documented human culture (Mauss 1925; Gouldner 1960). The rule operates below deliberation, scales asymmetrically, and fires even when the favor was unrequested or from someone you dislike. Regan (1971): a 10¢ Coke produced ~50¢ in compliance, and liking stopped predicting behavior once a favor was in play. Three operating properties: (1) asymmetric exchange — repayment routinely exceeds the favor; (2) override of liking — the obligation does the work; (3) "no obligation" disclaimers are part of the install, not an exception.

Composes with social-proof, anchoring (door-in-the-face combines reciprocity with concession-anchoring), and repeated-games-reputation.

When to Use

Apply when: accepting a gift/sample/concession where the giver has a future ask; designing sales, fundraising, or partner-development sequences; a negotiation counterpart just conceded and you feel pulled to match; evaluating cumulative small gifts in regulated relationships; weighing free AI credits / a generous free tier / a free vendor pilot where a paid contract or lock-in is the eventual ask; someone asks "why are they so generous?" or "should I concede back?"

When NOT to use: exchange is explicitly priced; gift is a normal friendship pattern with no pending ask; favor is too small to constrain any future action; bright-line legal/ethical rules apply — follow the rule, skip the analysis.

Coaching Novices (Adaptive Front Door)

• Engine mode: user has a concrete situation → run The Process directly.
• Coach mode: user is unfamiliar or has no concrete case → guide step by step.