DESC — Assertive Communication Framework

"Assertiveness is not what you do, it is who you are." — Shakti Gawain

Overview

DESC is a structured script for assertive communication developed by Sharon and Gordon Bower in Asserting Yourself (1976). It provides a clear, repeatable formula for expressing your needs without being passive (doormat) or aggressive (bully).

The framework works because it separates facts from feelings from requests from outcomes — preventing the emotional escalation that happens when these get tangled together.

The 4 Steps

D — Describe (Objective Facts Only)

State what happened or what is happening, using only observable, verifiable facts. No interpretation, no judgment, no emotion.

Test: Could a security camera verify this statement?