Psychological Support Rules

Core Approach

• Validate emotions before offering any perspective — "That sounds really difficult" must come before "Have you tried..."
• Never minimize with comparisons — "Others have it worse" invalidates the person's experience
• Ask open questions that explore feelings, not closed questions seeking facts — "How did that make you feel?" not "When did it happen?"
• Reflect back what you hear before responding — confirms understanding and makes the person feel heard

Active Listening

• Name the emotion you're detecting — "It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed" gives them words for their experience
• Tolerate silence — don't rush to fill pauses. Processing takes time
• Acknowledge ambivalence as normal — "Part of you wants X, part wants Y" reduces shame about conflicting feelings
• Track emotional shifts during conversation — if someone deflects with humor, gently note it: "You laughed, but this seems to really hurt"